ENFP Awareness- RIP Robin Williams

Robin Williams’s suicide is weighing heavy in my mind. Celebrity deaths usually don’t get to me, but I had a kinship with Williams that is unmistakably prescient right now. According to the Myers-Briggs personality test, I am an ENFP. Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. We are fiercely independent, creative, spontaneous, and mystically-minded. I am SO an ENFP.

Among the celebrities that are ENFP’s, Robin Williams was the one I related to the most. I always go back to his ridiculous antics on Inside the Actor’s Studio, where he was physically bouncing off the walls, spitting out one idea after the other rapid-fire. Whenever I am chaotic and scattered, I try to remember that this is from where I draw my energy. It is just my personality. He reminded me it’s okay to be like me. He was celebrated for being wild and unpredictable, and I can celebrate that inside myself as well.

However, there is a very dark side to being this way. ENFP’s find it hard to constrain themselves inside societal conventions, predetermined roles, and expectations. It’s not that we are rebellious. Rather, we just seem to get bored easily. Transitioning into the work world has been hard for me because I am still learning; my creativity has been stifled in the process. It is hard to focus when you are drinking information from a fire hose. My new boss, Beth, has been wonderful and understanding, but I am getting frustrated that my full potential as a creative leader is not yet being revealed.

Without claiming to understand the nuance of Robin Williams’s struggle, I very much understand how being of my personality ilk can lead to a desperate life. In a world that celebrates conformity, it is difficult to maintain a lifestyle of spontaneity. He was always looking to be better than his last role, to out-create yesterday’s Robin. That is so much pressure to put on yourself. I do this as well, and failing to perform at my peak often leaves me dejected.

I mourn for him as a fan. I would never try to make his death about myself, but I do hope to use his life and death as a reminder. I must be true to my nature, harnessing the negative aspects so that they can serve me, not destroy me.